Insurance Shuffle

It's a new dance craze that's sweeping our location! Where you try to get something medically necessary covered by your insurance and they shuffle around not being able to figure out what the hell you want or how to cover it!

It's so cute when she can see!!!

Geri got her new glasses today, which is awesome news. Yet, it's the backstory to this moment that illustrates a point in my mind. Just over one week ago (previous Wednesday) I brought Geri up to Denver for another EUA, and at this appointment Dr. B got her prescription. Seriously, I felt like he handed me a golden ticket. I was so excited. On the way home, I called my insurance company to ask if they would cover the glasses. I seemed to recall reading something in their booklet about how they covered glasses if they were due to glaucoma, cataracts, or traumatic eye injury.

The first person I spoke to assured me that, yes, glasses due to glaucoma would be covered. Cool, is there a limit to the glasses we can get? Any restrictions? "Oh, ummm... it says standard frames only..." OK, what's the definition of a standard frame? "Oh, ummm.... it doesn't say... your optometrist will know." At this point the call got cut off because I was driving through an I-25 dead zone.

I was not having warm fuzzies about this analysis, so I called back. I got a different operator, so I asked her - what's the definition of "standard frames"? "Oh, gee... it doesn't say... I don't know." Well, could you ask a supervisor or something? I go on hold for five minutes. Then she comes back on the line. "Your optometrist will know what that means." Really? Any optometrist will be familiar with this term? "Oh yeah, they all know what are standard frames!" Okay, fine.

The little blue butterflies come standard...

Fast forward to the next day. I walk into the optometrist's office. "Where are your standard frames?" I ask. "Standard frames??" She looks at me like I have just asked her for a blubberliquicklat or something similarly made up. "What's a standard frame?" she asks me. *palm slap to forehead* "I don't know," I tell her. "The insurance company said they cover 'standard frames' and that you would know what that meant." "I have no idea what that means," she said. "Did they give you a dollar limit?" *I go bang my head against a wall*

Speed forward to Tuesday of this week. I get a call from the receptionist/billing person in the optometrist's office. She has called my insurance and they told her that yes, they would cover glasses for glaucoma.... if the patient has already had surgery for the condition. Has the patient had surgery?

You know, since they PAID for the TWO surgeries, you would think they would know about them.

*I go bang my head against the wall, send insurance a bill for head trauma*

Nick thinks she looks like a Hollywood producer type, so here goes...
"Here's an idea, Nick-baby. You can set it in Canada, but we film in Michigan."