I am happy today because this is the day that Christ rose to save us all. Jesus, the only name that saves! But I am sad today, because I miss my daughter. This is her last Easter alone.
Next year she will wear a dress I sewed for her myself. She'll have a basket and maybe hunt for eggs, or just watch or listen to her brother and sister do it. She might have her sight back, if the Lord is willing. She'll go to church with us. She'll eat ham with pineapple and cherries for dinner, and our neighbors will dote on her like they do our other two kids. She'll have Jello Jigglers for dessert. She'll go to sleep warm and with a full belly. I hope she will be happy. It pains me to think she won't have these things this Easter, but I'm so glad to know she is passing her last Easter without a family. She's had her last lonely Christmas, her last lonely birthday, her last lonely Thanksgiving (even if she technically wouldn't celebrate it in Bulgaria anyway.) She's coming up on her last Mother's day without a mother.
I was struck the other day by the thought of seemingly unanswered prayers. Right now, she has no idea there is a family waiting for her. She doesn't know she has a mommy and daddy and siblings and that we love her. She doesn't know how we ache to hold her, to bring her home. She has no idea of the good things that are being worked for her, things that are ripening out of sight and will not appear until the proper time, when everything is ready.
How often are we the same? We pray for something, we hope and wish and plead and cry but the longer the wait drags on the more we think God is not listening. We figure nothing is happening, since we can't see it. I am more convinced than ever that, when I feel like nothing is happening, I am dead wrong. God is always working, somewhere out of my view, and something good will come when it is ready. I believe that I am just like my little girl. I'm waiting in limbo for something that I can't yet see, but it's coming. Someone who loves me is working hard for me, I just don't know it yet.
Romans 8:28 "We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose."
Jeremiah 29:11 "I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."