Ok, so here's something I don't normally do... I'm just going to take this entry directly from my own personal journal. Bet you didn't know that I have a journal in addition to this blog, eh? Yeah, I'm introspective like that. Anyway, here it goes.
Journal - 15 May 2011
Wow. Today something happened in worship that I can hardly believe. It's kinda screwing with me, honestly.
There was a woman in front of me in service - never met her before. During service I noticed that she seemed to be experiencing some very strong emotion - she was really going through something. I first noticed it while we were singing, and I felt like putting my hand on her shoulder. But, of course, I didn't. Because she was a total stranger, and that would be weird.
After the sermon we were doing communion and more worship. Everyone was standing and singing and she was still sitting, obviously dealing with a lot. And then I felt it.
I felt YOU, telling me to reach out to her. It was so strong I could hardly bear it. My left hand started to get this feeling. I can barely describe it. It was *like* a tingle, but not. It was *like* a burning, but not. *Like* electricity, or power, or energy - but not quite. It was God. It was God saying "There's a reason I want this from you, so DO IT."
I thought to myself "God, please tell me you're not going to make me touch this total stranger." And then, I did.
I laid my hand on her shoulder. She didn't turn, just reached up and took hold of my hand like it was a lifeline. I squeezed her hand and held it for the rest of the song, and I prayed over her. I prayed for God to take care of her, to help her, be with her. After the benediction she turned around, hugged me and thanked me. All I could stammer out was "No problem." What I should have said was "It wasn't me!"
I don't know what that was about, but I know as surely as I stand that God used me today. I'm not even totally sure how, or why, or to accomplish what. I only know that at that moment he wanted her to... I dunno. He wanted me to put my hand on her shoulder. Beyond that, I got nothin'.
So here I stand. I keep looking at my left hand in awe. It's just a normal hand. I'm just an average woman. But that was anything but a normal or average service.
That was my unexpected thing from service, my unplanned brush with the God of the universe. I have no explanation for it, and I know it sounds crazy. I'm really not some religious whack-job who thinks that my neighbor's dog talks to me or that I have an image of Mary on my toast. Honestly, I'm not. I love God, very very much, and I do believe I've seen His hand on my life - but in events and stuff. I dunno, things that people normally attribute to God when they believe He's a part of their life. This... well, this falls outside that category I suppose. And I honestly don't know what to make of it.
This has happened to me before, actually many times. I was taking a class on Native American medicine which ended with a sweat lodge, which the whole class was able to participate. I would like to preface this with assuring you there was no drug influence as we were all requested to abstain from anything for a day prior. We all were well fed and hydrated and only sat In the steam heated tent for at most an hour. During the lodge, in which many were very emotional, I was compeled, similar to what you describe, to reac out and touch a man's shoulder that was next to me. I also did not know him but the gesture was well received. However from there that electric warm buzzing feeling went from my hand up my arm and overcame my body. I was immediately aware of three angelic figures that grabed hold of my hands and pulled me to my feet and pulled on my hands as if to beckon me into the sky.
ReplyDeleteAnyway the story goes on and I was having similar experiences for months afterwords. I don't know why or how i just know what i felt was as real as anything iv'e ever known. I just read your post and thought you should know that you aren't crazy. I'm sure I'm not either. There is more out there than you can see.
Thanks, Travis. I'm fairly sure I'm sane, for the most part... but you always wonder what other people will say. :) Then again, who cares what they say, right?
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