Ok, so here's something I don't normally do... I'm just going to take this entry directly from my own personal journal. Bet you didn't know that I have a journal in addition to this blog, eh? Yeah, I'm introspective like that. Anyway, here it goes.
Journal - 15 May 2011
Wow. Today something happened in worship that I can hardly believe. It's kinda screwing with me, honestly.
There was a woman in front of me in service - never met her before. During service I noticed that she seemed to be experiencing some very strong emotion - she was really going through something. I first noticed it while we were singing, and I felt like putting my hand on her shoulder. But, of course, I didn't. Because she was a total stranger, and that would be weird.
After the sermon we were doing communion and more worship. Everyone was standing and singing and she was still sitting, obviously dealing with a lot. And then I felt it.
I felt YOU, telling me to reach out to her. It was so strong I could hardly bear it. My left hand started to get this feeling. I can barely describe it. It was *like* a tingle, but not. It was *like* a burning, but not. *Like* electricity, or power, or energy - but not quite. It was God. It was God saying "There's a reason I want this from you, so DO IT."
I thought to myself "God, please tell me you're not going to make me touch this total stranger." And then, I did.
I laid my hand on her shoulder. She didn't turn, just reached up and took hold of my hand like it was a lifeline. I squeezed her hand and held it for the rest of the song, and I prayed over her. I prayed for God to take care of her, to help her, be with her. After the benediction she turned around, hugged me and thanked me. All I could stammer out was "No problem." What I should have said was "It wasn't me!"
I don't know what that was about, but I know as surely as I stand that God used me today. I'm not even totally sure how, or why, or to accomplish what. I only know that at that moment he wanted her to... I dunno. He wanted me to put my hand on her shoulder. Beyond that, I got nothin'.
So here I stand. I keep looking at my left hand in awe. It's just a normal hand. I'm just an average woman. But that was anything but a normal or average service.
That was my unexpected thing from service, my unplanned brush with the God of the universe. I have no explanation for it, and I know it sounds crazy. I'm really not some religious whack-job who thinks that my neighbor's dog talks to me or that I have an image of Mary on my toast. Honestly, I'm not. I love God, very very much, and I do believe I've seen His hand on my life - but in events and stuff. I dunno, things that people normally attribute to God when they believe He's a part of their life. This... well, this falls outside that category I suppose. And I honestly don't know what to make of it.