I recently read, on one of the adoptive parent message boards, a post from one family who has decided to give up on adopting. They have been dealing with infertility, then waiting to adopt. All in all, the wait had been many years and they were just giving up (theirs words, not mine.) I just don't get it.
I can't understand giving up. The waiting is hell, I'll agree to that any day. There are times that I feel like my heart is going to just crumble in my chest from the pain of waiting. I guess if we weren't trying to adopt we wouldn't have to wait anxiously for our daughter to come home. I guess if we had never started down this path I'd be blissfully unaware of how horrible the wait can be. But if we never started this, I'd never have met our amazing daughter. We wouldn't get the chance to know her or raise her.
I just don't think that giving up will make anything better. You wait and try for years for a child, and if you give up then you guarantee that you won't ever get one. As long as you are waiting you are still living in hope. When you give up, that hope is gone.
How could it feel "better" to just never have what you so desperately desire? How could it make anyone feel "better" to go from "someday" to "never"?